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Today in celebrity gossip: A very tedious celebrity wedding had at least a few interesting aspects, Justin Bieber gave A LOT of money to charity, and Miley Cyrus possibly misses Liam Hemsworth.
Perhaps you've heard of the two celebrities named Kanye West and Kim Kardashian? The former is a talented rapper and producer who nearly single-handedly changed the direction of modern hip-hop over the last ten years. The latter is a curvy reality TV star with the cadence of a newborn koala. This past weekend they were married in a lavish, multi-million dollar ceremony in Florence where a media blackout was instituted solely to stoke media interest in their ceremony. Unfortunately this tactic badly overestimated how much people actually care about the marriage of Kanye West to Kim Kardashian, as the celebrity gossip marriage narrative is so beyond exhausted by this point that the world was collectively like, 'wake us for the divorce or murder-suicide coverage.' But anyway, they're married now and despite the endless reporting and impossibly banal details emerging from this non-spectacle, at least a handful of interesting nuggets HAVE popped out of it. Yes, these items are very schadenfreude-y, but they count! So here, for your reading pleasure, are eight things about the Kimye Wedding that could be considered mildly interesting!
• Vogue Editor and possible Kanye West blackmail victim Anna Wintour did not attend the wedding. A Vogue spokesperson gave the following explanation: "Anna had a longstanding family commitment this weekend and sadly had to miss the wedding." Sorry, Wedding of the Century. When Anna Wintour has "croquet?" lightly penciled into her day planner, there's just no canceling. [Page Six]
• More damning, even Jay Z and Beyoncé declined to attend the Kimye nuptials. It's not clear what would keep Jay Z from attending his supposed bestie's Big Day, but Page Six reports he and his wife were "reportedly spending their weekend in the Hamptons." And right around the time Kim Kardashian would've been walking down the aisle, Beyoncé casually 'grammed a selfie of her new braids. To be fair, she followed that with a photo from the Kimye Vogue shoot along with the caption "Wishing you a lifetime of unconditional love. God bless your beautiful family," so it's not like the newlyweds were TOTALLY off Beyoncé's radar. But yeah: Beyoncé and Jay Z chose the beach over a destination wedding and no sane person could ever fault them for it. [Page Six]
• What's a wedding without some intra-family drama? Kim Kardashian's brother Rob Kardashian skipped out on the wedding the morning of, allegedly after she humiliated him about his weight. Page Six reports there was a "heated argument" between the siblings having to do with Rob's inability to fit into a Valentino suit for a pre-wedding luncheon and he booked the first flight back to Los Angeles, skipping his sister's wedding entirely. Then, upon arrival in Los Angeles, he proceeded to delete all his previous tweets and replace them with religious and patriotic declarations. His European experience was that bad, I guess. [Page Six, Us Weekly]
• Meanwhile, the muckraking busybodies at Us Weekly decided to check in on what Kim Kardashian's previous husband was up to this weekend. NBA player Kris Humphries—he of the infamous, highly televised 2011 marriage to Kardashian that ended after 2 months—apparently spent the weekend "in his home state of Minnesota to celebrate Memorial Day with his family." How shocking and lurid! It's not clear what exactly Us Weekly was hoping to report here. That Kris Humphries was moping around Minnesota openly sobbing about regret and lost love? No, he was probably just seeing X-Men with his dad. No big deal. [Us Weekly]
Perhaps you've heard of the two celebrities named Kanye West and Kim Kardashian? The former is a talented rapper and producer who nearly single-handedly changed the direction of modern hip-hop over the last ten years. The latter is a curvy reality TV star with the cadence of a newborn koala. This past weekend they were married in a lavish, multi-million dollar ceremony in Florence where a media blackout was instituted solely to stoke media interest in their ceremony. Unfortunately this tactic badly overestimated how much people actually care about the marriage of Kanye West to Kim Kardashian, as the celebrity gossip marriage narrative is so beyond exhausted by this point that the world was collectively like, 'wake us for the divorce or murder-suicide coverage.' But anyway, they're married now and despite the endless reporting and impossibly banal details emerging from this non-spectacle, at least a handful of interesting nuggets HAVE popped out of it. Yes, these items are very schadenfreude-y, but they count! So here, for your reading pleasure, are eight things about the Kimye Wedding that could be considered mildly interesting!
• Vogue Editor and possible Kanye West blackmail victim Anna Wintour did not attend the wedding. A Vogue spokesperson gave the following explanation: "Anna had a longstanding family commitment this weekend and sadly had to miss the wedding." Sorry, Wedding of the Century. When Anna Wintour has "croquet?" lightly penciled into her day planner, there's just no canceling. [Page Six]
• More damning, even Jay Z and Beyoncé declined to attend the Kimye nuptials. It's not clear what would keep Jay Z from attending his supposed bestie's Big Day, but Page Six reports he and his wife were "reportedly spending their weekend in the Hamptons." And right around the time Kim Kardashian would've been walking down the aisle, Beyoncé casually 'grammed a selfie of her new braids. To be fair, she followed that with a photo from the Kimye Vogue shoot along with the caption "Wishing you a lifetime of unconditional love. God bless your beautiful family," so it's not like the newlyweds were TOTALLY off Beyoncé's radar. But yeah: Beyoncé and Jay Z chose the beach over a destination wedding and no sane person could ever fault them for it. [Page Six]
• What's a wedding without some intra-family drama? Kim Kardashian's brother Rob Kardashian skipped out on the wedding the morning of, allegedly after she humiliated him about his weight. Page Six reports there was a "heated argument" between the siblings having to do with Rob's inability to fit into a Valentino suit for a pre-wedding luncheon and he booked the first flight back to Los Angeles, skipping his sister's wedding entirely. Then, upon arrival in Los Angeles, he proceeded to delete all his previous tweets and replace them with religious and patriotic declarations. His European experience was that bad, I guess. [Page Six, Us Weekly]
• Meanwhile, the muckraking busybodies at Us Weekly decided to check in on what Kim Kardashian's previous husband was up to this weekend. NBA player Kris Humphries—he of the infamous, highly televised 2011 marriage to Kardashian that ended after 2 months—apparently spent the weekend "in his home state of Minnesota to celebrate Memorial Day with his family." How shocking and lurid! It's not clear what exactly Us Weekly was hoping to report here. That Kris Humphries was moping around Minnesota openly sobbing about regret and lost love? No, he was probably just seeing X-Men with his dad. No big deal. [Us Weekly]